Sunday, 15 March 2009

Revenge

"He who lives by the sword dies by the sword"
Revenge originates from the primal need for self-defense. In today's world, it is often abused as a destructive and futile response to anger or humiliation. Exhaust all alternatives before considering revenge, and use revenge only if it is your only effective self-defense. Why do you believe it is your only alternative? Why do you believe it will be effective? Describe why you believe revenge addresses the cause and will have the effect you want. Most strategies for revenge fail because they attempt to change the past. Unfortunately once the damage is done and the injury, insult, humiliation, or other loss occurs, the clock cannot be turned back and the loss is permanent. In addition, the value of the loss to the offended is seen as much greater than any benefit gained by the offender. As a result the offense represents an unrecoverable loss to society as a whole. Successful strategies for revenge look far into the future and recognize that the cycle of vengeance and retaliation can only spiral toward tragedy and are best stopped before they are started. Revenge is a doomed attempt to eliminate shame and increase stature by asserting dominance. It fails because asserting dominance does not increase stature, instead it usually increases violence. Also, remorse cannot be coerced, it has to be discovered. Evidence indicates that forgiveness increases self-esteem and decreases anxiety.

6 comments:

Reader Wil said...

I agree with you! Revenge is the poorest answer to the fact that you feel insulted, humiliated or whatever. To forgive is far greater than retaliation. Thanks for your visit.

Constantinos said...

~ I agree that forgiveness is the best reply to revenge. I feel proud of myself because I have learned to forgive those who have harmed me. It wasn't easy but I'm glad I had the strength to forgive.

Stefania said...

Sometimes is only human to feel bitterness or resent for someone who has hurt us. But revenge isn't the solution. It never brings positive results. On the contrary it acts like a boomerang.

Anastasia said...

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Forgive and forget is the best policy.

Constantinos said...

~ That's true Stefania. I've had a lot of bitterness and a lot of resent, especially since my divorce, but I've never taken revenge on anyone.

~ I agree, Anastasia. It sometimes takes a lot of moral strength and a lot of courage to forgive but, yes, it's the best policy because you get rid of remorse!

Olga said...

Revenge never bring positive result. It only brings pain to both the revenged and the revenger.